Friday, March 7, 2025

The Crooked Lands II: WIP Lists!

 


 

Everyone is related

Barrows of the Noble Fae:

  • Serís
  • Tīshan
  • Ethine
  • Viryid
  • Lyazúr 
  • Valík
  • Indaeus 

Legendary Godlike Ancestors of Heroes and Such:

  • Apochros
  • Ikes
  • Pellenthea
  • Krassionia 
  • Trasikos
  • Ikodon
  • Zairos

Basileans:

  • Queen Anne
  • Queen Lilit
  • King Aekin
  • Duke Eishan
  • Duke Natan
  • Duke Uther
  • Duchess Sintil

 

 

A Story as Old as Time

When they finally caught up to Father One-Eye, he had already put himself up on Grandfather Scale's Crooked Apple Tree for a quarter-moon (he lies and says it was more days, 9 sometimes, dispensing wisdom like the sweets from his pocket, the best thing anyone has had until melting away like the Spring thaw). He watched the wheeling of the Procession of Stellar Angels, the epicycles of the Mad Ones, and below the Firmament, the Tempest of Rage and the Undeath'd Lords' Ride. 

In the Glory, and the Geometry, and the Fury, he made 18 Runes, plucked 18 seeds from the Tree, spoke 18 Letters of the Name of God that had never before in all of history been uttered. There were some other things too, such as: he finally ate the Vulture who harried him and his organs, he learned why his eye had been torn out and why there were things etched onto the inside of his skull, Sir Viglaf fetched down Father One-eye by piercing him through with the Ash Spear while possessed by the spirit of St. Barra, and of course Lady Susurrus came to the tree and shared her pomegranates and honey (though that's less spoken of among polite society; we all know how that turned out).

These are the 18 Spells:

  1.  Cauldron of Emotions' Simmer [*slowly cause an emotion **cause an emotion against natural inclinations or spread the feeling out amongst a group]
  2. Umbral Grievance [*barf up waves of darkness **barf up creatures (if you've recently Feasted)]
  3. Hazardous Incendiary Field [*metal sparks, water boils **   ]
  4.   Evoluting Consumption [*   **    ]
  5. Omnidialectical Insistence [*become more noticeable in presence, and become audible at great volumes ** become incredibly convincing in what you say]
  6. Firesprites Cavorting Waltz [*  ** ]
  7. Unfettering [*   **   ]
  8. Gravity's Arrow [*levitate, float  **jump great distances] 
  9. Sludge [*it's coming out of the cracks **it's coming out of you, directed]
  10. The Boring Hole [*just that, big enough for a person or two  ** ....but it goes somewhere else ]
  11. From Foam the Waves [*turn to foam ** enact tidal forces on bodies of liquid ]
  12. Slip Away [*fall into "REALMS" just a little **choose what to bring or what not to bring from around you]
  13.  Take Down the Body From Yon Tree [* **  ]
  14. A Really Long Beam [*bzzzzzt bounces around until it shines upon the sky  **    ]
  15. Quiet the Flame [* extinguish heat or fire **slow down some instance of Psychic Flame]
  16. Whippering Rein [*   **    ]
  17. Pocketsfull of Candies! [*    **   ]
  18. Dance Out of Chaos [*   **    ]

 


 

Everyone is a Human!

Choose what type of "human" some more! 

Knight Errant
-Questing! Oaths! Longsword! Maybe something to ride?! (preferably a horse; snails are too slow) Jousts and duels! Getting hauled off to hermitages to heal! Sweet, sweet escutcheons!

Hunter
-6 Things You Might Have
1. bag of rocks and a pair of shears
2. long match fired musket
3. either a peregrine, a kestrel, or a merlin
4. a singing axe
5. soft striding boots and a feathered thinking cap
6. The Snare (a dragon's jaw and a rope of the hair of a princess)

-Whatcha hunt?
1. Dragon
2. Razerí
3. fine fowl
4. hoofed beast
5. ghosts
6. outlaws

-Whereya from?
1.trackless wastes
2.endless svannah
3.mighty forest
4.The Library
5.The Garden
6.The City

Thistle Child
-You are a princess 1)enchanted 2) frozen 3)bramble locked 4)incorporealized in a mirror or a lake or something. You're an old man who rested in a ring of mushrooms. You are a head-in-the-clouds type of sensitive artistic bent. You are actually a youth who was grown in a 1) thistle bush 2) rose bloom 3) cabbage patch 4)peach tree and came into the Crooked Lands fully formed, with a vague memory of (dreams) another life. You might be able to hold your breath to fly a bit, you probably speak truth of the future (a bit, and no one but your friends believes you if so), you can talk to wee creatures perhaps, or walk into trees and out another (as long as it isn't currently occupied). Good natured. Probably looking for a way home.

 

{{More incomplete and incoherent ramblings! About a game? A place? Who knows?!}}}

Monday, March 3, 2025

The Crooked Lands I: WIP Brainstorm

 


Vitality fuels everything

Start with 5 HD to mark your vitality, gain one every level 

There are lots of ways to gain XPs:
Finding a new Floor in a Horrible Maze
Stepping foot in a Named Place
Defeating something Terrible and Potent
Feasting with a Lord or Lady in a Greate Hall, or a Horror in a Dream Hall
{a bunch more!}

 How much to leeeevel up? Who tf knows yet! [Probably a few points per level with things like the list conferring 1 or 2 depending]

Stats:

Roll 1d6, arrange to taste to Brutal, Subtle, and Arcane

 1-3  1, 1, 0
 4-5  2, 0, 0
 6     3, 0,- 1

Brutal +1/level towards damage when hits armor [and splash to vitality]
| Battering ram  |
| Hauling            |   +hitting
| Scavenging      |

Subtle +1/level taken to hit vitality over armor threshold
|Parkour             |
|Tinkering          |     +dodging
|Skulking           |

Arcane +1/level to technical effect [targets, damage, duration]
|Magic               |
|Technology       |   +skills
|Languages        |

 

We're just going to be using a d20 and a couple d6s!

Hit Thresholds:
5+ Melee
10+ Missile
15+ Armor

Armor has 6, 4, 2 hits for Plate harness, maille, gambeson
Shields soak 1 or 2 hits but break if damage rolled = soak

 

Difficulties (probably 2d6 + mods):
medium 7
hard 9
exceptional 11
legendary 13
otherworldy 15

 

Everyone is a Human! 
Choose which kind of "human" :

Hobp
-can squeeze under doors, between rocks, finger into locks, eye into peepholes. With enough time can squeeze through the smallest crack. Soft edges, and a hearty jiggling healthiness. Quite friendly, very sociable, and like to cuddle.

Auf
-Graceful and angular externally, inside made of a spidery, multijointed leg for each decade alive. Props up ethereal alien beauty that is really just 999 insects that may [butterfly: fog cloud, spider: web, flies: {buzzing-silence?}]

Ďral
-born from the mixture of skeleton and sinews. Hungry until eats enough meats for muscles, itching (or laughing ticklish) until taking enough skin or furs to contain its meats. May trade up eyes, tongue, even brain. Usually carries a beautifully woven sack. Really, really hard to kill

 

 

{{{Just needing to clear the palate from thinking constantly about Zero Coherence, my "it's quite serious and will 100% work" game that is endlessly in construction, so a breezy braindump about some silly rpg. And I wanted to say: Hi everyone!! <3}}}

Late at Night in August

  Me, writing this, presumably.  Alright. Warming up the typewriter-ribbon, greasing the computer's pistons, making sure the calculator ...